Microsoft Furniture

August 7, 1997 (Seattle) -- Microsoft announced today that it will provide office furniture with its software. The next release of windows, code named Naugahyde, will include the Microsoft Chair at no extra charge. "This is a natural for us," a Microsoft spokesperson said. "We've conquered the desktop, so we're looking at way of expanding our installed base." The spokesperson denied accusations that bundling constitutes an unfair competitive advantage. "We're just listening to our customers. They've asked for more built in features, and who doesn't use a chair when they're at their computer? Especially when they're waiting for Windows to reboot."

Beta testers noted its large footprint and found the chair to lack substantial features found in most of the competition. But when asked if they dislike it enough to purchase another vendor's furniture, most stated that they would just take what Microsoft had to offer. Also in the works is a small seat, dubbed the Microsoft Stool, soon to be bundled with laptops. Beta testers were surprised to find the backless chair at their doorsteps. "Then again, it's not the first time we've received a shrink-wrapped stool sample from Microsoft," noted one breathless customer.